Enough

Fucking fed up and at the end of my tether. Beyond it probably.
Don't come anywhere near me unless you want to get screamed and sworn at. If I could kick people in the teeth I probably would.


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Sobering fact

Despite what people say, nobody really cares about what you're going through but yourself,
most people say they'd love to help but don't,
and those very, very few that would, you can't get to when you need them most.


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I'm having trouble coping

On my own I'd be fine. No probs. Moderate stress. I'd get over it, I'd be alright.

Me plus The Baby. That's so hard. Full time job, not enough time, not enough sleep, maximum stress. So much so I'm beginning to feel permanently nauseous. Al this also means I cry at absolutely anything.

And that's with my family around. In April they're all going abroad. And M is moving away in April too.

Just me, The Baby (a more and more energetic baby), and my full time job and permanent nauseating stress. For 2 weeks.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't dreading it.


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Location:Sofa

I need a cuddle.


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I have just...

...started reading a book that I have a strong suspicion I'm going to love so much that the frustration of not having written it myself will make me cry. Like The Time Traveler's Wife all over again.


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Location:The bed

Day 59

Today appears to be one of those, 'M irritating the crap out of me' days. Turned up this morning to drop Toby off at the yard, only to discover that he's taken the day off and is in fact still in Staffordshire with his irritating 'friends', job-seeking. Nice of him to tell me. Guess he won't be picking The Baby up from nursery then eh? True to form i only just got a text telling me that. No doubt his excuse would be that he was originally planning on getting back on time. I won't bother asking. No point.

I went to visit a friend this weekend and we had a good, if slightly subdued, time. We're both generally knackered and mildly depressed. Me due to being left holding The Baby, her due to being made redundant shortly after she was begining to think she was back on track with her life after calling off her wedding a couple of years ago and the subsequent fallout and financial loss (house etc). Only the evenings were subdued though. During the days we were taking The Baby to the zoo and the indoor soft play area and the pub for lunch. She was pretty exhausted by him too. Phew. Sometimes if I wonder if it's just me that finds it hard. M always says he's 'a doddle' to look after.
Twat.

Anyway, many topics of conversation were discussed. including how were we to find a nice fanciable man (each) who would be happy to have regular sex and maybe the odd day out or wedding +1 invite but would be ok with that being it. We think this will be more difficult than it sounds. Firstly it requires probably same amount of time effort and luck as finding a decent boyfriend and secondly, they probably wouldn't believe that was all we wanted and would back off because of it.

Another topic of conversation was that she had had a terratoma removed. A flipping grapefruit-sized terratoma! I am slightly ashamed that the first words out of my mouth were, "Ooh! Did you see it?Did they let you keep it?"
Unfortunately they didn't.
I'd have loved to have a look in that particular pickle jar!


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Location:My desk

So true!

Fantastic quote:

"A lot of men don't realise that the more beautiful a woman feels the more easygoing she is" (Steve Santagati)

You could easily substitute "beautiful" for other words such as loved, secure or adored.

Now, how do we make them geddit?
(Spunky excepted. Spunky already knows. :)


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Location:My desk